Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The morbidity of difference

"High quality" schools these days, public and private, seem to agree. Any kid who is not in perfect step with her peers must be tested and evaluated.

Let me describe the cycle of horror -- first a message goes home to the parents "Jamie, when you get a chance, could you stop by. I'd like to talk to you about Ruth." Stress spike! Then the delivery: "We've noticed that Ruthie is a little different than her peers". Choose one of the following: "She's still reversing her S's" or "She has an especially hard time holding still" or "She doesn't look at the teacher when she's talking" or "She's not as coordinated as the other kids". "We would like your permission to test her for" followed by some extremely scary words. Major stress spike. Sleepless nights for the parents. They worry that they've loved the kid so much that they've overlooked something terrible. There there's the waiting...a week, three weeks, to see a specialist (and in private school the expense). Then the test, will your child be so afraid of the specialist they won't cooperate? Will he actually sleep during the sleep study? Then waiting for the results, then the results.

The results are at first scary, then disappointing, then enraging. First it's scary, because it does turn out that Ruthie is a little different. She's at the 35th percentile dyslexia-wise. Which means she may have slight tendencies in that direction but doesn't qualify for the label. (What were we hoping for? Exactly 50th? Plus or minus what? 5%? By that definition, 10% of kids are "normal" and 90% of kids are abnormal).

Then disappointment. For all the fear and stress raised, there is to be no consequence. No specialist doctors, no support group, no books to order from Amazon. No antibiotics for this diagnosis. There has been two to six weeks of stress and waiting...and now nothing...

Then anger...two weeks of sleepless nights...a thousand dollars worth of tests and what do we have? We've proven that the kid is a little different from normal. Something that the kid's grandmother could have told you (with love and affection).

There's no doubt that testing has it's place -- screening for hearing loss has saved many a school career. Some extreme examples do benefit from a diagnosis and attention. But testing has gotten way out of hand, especially when the "solution" to a diagnose is exactly what a child should be getting out of his small, individually tailored classroom anyway.

In my mind, the point of a good school, private or public, is that they know the children as individuals. They have the room and time to address children individually. For teachers to practice "defensive teaching" and refer every quirk over to a specialist is a waste of money and time. It causes great stress for the parents, and while it is intended to allow the system to prescribe remedies for specific diagnoses, in fact many of these diagnoses have common sense recommendations.

The first step for mild cases of left/right hemisphere processing, ADD, ADHD, Aspergers syndrome, and dyslexia are all treated the same way: children need to be presented with information in more than one format (visual, oral, kinesthetic). They need to have sitting time broken up time for physical play. They need to have their personal achievements recognised, without comparison to the group (this is true of gifted children as well!). Teaching is not like watering plants -- each child doesn't get the same dose, with the same effect. Any good teacher treats children differently because they are different.

The second step is to give the kid time and space. The bell curve exists for a good reason -- 20% of us fall into the 20% percentile. We walk late, we talk early, we write with our left hands. It's always comforting for the parents to know that "All the Smith side of the family crawled for an extra six months" but that only affirms what we should know already -- that our child does things in his own time, in his own way. You might be surprised at how kids compensate. Some of us will be rotten spellers for our entire lives, some of us will discover in high school (from Latin class!) that you really can sound out a word.

Which brings me back to my childhood -- when children weren't expected to be the same. Some of us needed extra attention, some needed extra practice. Some children "marched to the beat of a different drummer". This wasn't labeled, granted special allowances, or diagnosed. We got more drill, or new drills if the old ones weren't working. Our parents were told which things we did really well, and which things required more practice.

I know a loving Catholic family with seven children. One of the middle children struggled through the college-prep Catholic school that every single kid in the family attended. The mother confessed she probably should have had him tested, but she was opposed to the idea that you can use a label to excuse lack of achievement -- that solution in life came in the form of a pill. So she didn't get him tested. The family loved him, they honored his achievements (A C in math? That's awesome! We can tell you really worked hard.), they acknowledged he was different. During high school he moved from college-prep to a large public school with a wider variety of classes -- he eagerly enrolled in pre-nursing, woodworking and a technology class. When I first heard this story I was appalled...what if a dose of Ritalin could have turned him into a scholar? Then I realized that he, more than most kids, has everything he needs to succeed in life. He's loved, he is accepted. He's eagerly pursuing his interests, and he's learned how to work hard, both at things that come easily and things that don't. Ritalin might have made him a B rather than a C student. Instead he will become excellent at something he's uniquely good at.

Keep in mind that we are not done discovering "illnesses" and "syndromes" we can test our children for. Twenty years from now, people will be horrified that we didn't screen for certain conditions, we didn't provide special teaching techniques for children with needs. What can we do for those kids, who's condition isn't yet diagnosed? Let's give them time and space to develop. Let's show them, tell them, ask them to act it out. Let's recognise them for their personal progress and let's allow them to be different.